I've found perhaps the most important universal truth.
Universal Truth Number Forty-Two
Joy comes through understanding.
As you learn and then apply what you've learned to future endeavors, it makes you happier because it yields better outcomes.
I've been able to apply a lot, and will continue to look for life lessons to learn and apply.
With that, a promise I'll continue to observe life's lessons and muse on them, I leave you to your own devices.
I'm taking a leave of absence from college and everyday life -- subsequently I'll also be taking a leave of absence from this blog and sharing my musings.
Talk to you July 2012
With love,
College Girl
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The Latest Relationship Insights.
I try not to put too much of what's going on with me and my relationships within this blog.
Boys have come and gone. As a rule: I try not to post on who they are... or the relationship we had.... but what they taught me.
Let me give you a sort of chronological run-down:
FIRST
There was this boy.
A boy that has been my friend for years.
This boy, that has been my friend, started to seem like he could be something more.
As he and I moved in that direction, I found out what things had changed, and what had not.
The facts were these:
I loved laughing with him. But another boy makes me laugh harder.
I love smiling with him. But another boy makes me smile more frequently.
I know I'm important to him, but I was more important to another boy.
I know this list is vague, and means nothing to the majority of you. Here's what it meant to me.
I can't be in a relationship unless I'm completely happy.
No one should settle for less in a legitimate relationship.
I want to marry someone who WOULD walk through Hell for me. Not just offer, or claim that he would.
(You know what they'd serve there? Deviled Eggs. (Joke courtesy of JD.))
NEXT
I found myself being treated the same way by this guy that I've been treated in the past.
I was already feeling like a relationship wasn't going to happen... then I was being treated like neither myself nor my friendship was something he really valued.
Last
I learned Universal Truth Number Forty-One
Actions don't speak louder than words, they have the entire say in a relationship.
It doesn't matter how nice or great a guy is.
Doesn't matter
-how often prettily he talks about you and your future with him
-how sweetly he can complement you
-how often he says he 'wishes he had more time for you'
If you're not being treated well in the relationship. If you're not given the time and attention you deserve. JUST WALK AWAY.
That last bit was in all caps because if I could, I would shout it slightly at you.
As girls, we all want to fix the situation.
Don't.
You don't want someone to give you time and attention because you're always asking for it... and reminding them that you're important. I say this for two reasons:
1) If you have to ask for time and remind them that you deserve the time... you're not as important to them as you deserve to be.
2)It. Won't. Last.
Find someone who genuinely wants to give you time, because he enjoys time with you. Find someone who treats you like you deserve, because he loves the way you treat him.
Boys have come and gone. As a rule: I try not to post on who they are... or the relationship we had.... but what they taught me.
Let me give you a sort of chronological run-down:
FIRST
There was this boy.
A boy that has been my friend for years.
This boy, that has been my friend, started to seem like he could be something more.
As he and I moved in that direction, I found out what things had changed, and what had not.
The facts were these:
I loved laughing with him. But another boy makes me laugh harder.
I love smiling with him. But another boy makes me smile more frequently.
I know I'm important to him, but I was more important to another boy.
I know this list is vague, and means nothing to the majority of you. Here's what it meant to me.
I can't be in a relationship unless I'm completely happy.
No one should settle for less in a legitimate relationship.
I want to marry someone who WOULD walk through Hell for me. Not just offer, or claim that he would.
(You know what they'd serve there? Deviled Eggs. (Joke courtesy of JD.))
NEXT
I found myself being treated the same way by this guy that I've been treated in the past.
I was already feeling like a relationship wasn't going to happen... then I was being treated like neither myself nor my friendship was something he really valued.
Last
I learned Universal Truth Number Forty-One
Actions don't speak louder than words, they have the entire say in a relationship.
It doesn't matter how nice or great a guy is.
Doesn't matter
-how often prettily he talks about you and your future with him
-how sweetly he can complement you
-how often he says he 'wishes he had more time for you'
If you're not being treated well in the relationship. If you're not given the time and attention you deserve. JUST WALK AWAY.
That last bit was in all caps because if I could, I would shout it slightly at you.
As girls, we all want to fix the situation.
Don't.
You don't want someone to give you time and attention because you're always asking for it... and reminding them that you're important. I say this for two reasons:
1) If you have to ask for time and remind them that you deserve the time... you're not as important to them as you deserve to be.
2)It. Won't. Last.
Find someone who genuinely wants to give you time, because he enjoys time with you. Find someone who treats you like you deserve, because he loves the way you treat him.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
The BIG 40
Let's speak candidly. I don't know what on earth I'm talking about.
I muse about life, and things that we can all identify (and hopefully) agree with. But when it comes right down to it, I believe in
Universal Truth Number Forty
You cannot claim to really have lived life... until you've felt lost.
I know... this truth is not going to be one that's universally agreed upon.
But here are my thoughts.
I've experienced, participated in, lived a lot of things. But living what I'm living right now... has made me really realize how beautiful life is.
Not because of the problems I'm dealing with. Not because I know the problems will make me a better and a stronger person (which, they will) ...but because in dealing with such turmoil, I know that someday I'll stop hurting.
I will not only stop hurting, stop feeling lost and confused, but will be legitimately happy.
And when that happens, when I'm no longer lost, confused, hurting, etc ...I'll be able to truly relish where I'm at.
If my happily ever after was as simple as falling in love and avoiding all the hard work that my life is now... well
1) I wouldn't be as ready to handle the future stresses life will hold
2)I wouldn't truly enjoy my happily ever after like I know that I will.
A ramble-riffic musing. But all true.
I muse about life, and things that we can all identify (and hopefully) agree with. But when it comes right down to it, I believe in
Universal Truth Number Forty
You cannot claim to really have lived life... until you've felt lost.
I know... this truth is not going to be one that's universally agreed upon.
But here are my thoughts.
I've experienced, participated in, lived a lot of things. But living what I'm living right now... has made me really realize how beautiful life is.
Not because of the problems I'm dealing with. Not because I know the problems will make me a better and a stronger person (which, they will) ...but because in dealing with such turmoil, I know that someday I'll stop hurting.
I will not only stop hurting, stop feeling lost and confused, but will be legitimately happy.
And when that happens, when I'm no longer lost, confused, hurting, etc ...I'll be able to truly relish where I'm at.
If my happily ever after was as simple as falling in love and avoiding all the hard work that my life is now... well
1) I wouldn't be as ready to handle the future stresses life will hold
2)I wouldn't truly enjoy my happily ever after like I know that I will.
A ramble-riffic musing. But all true.
Monday, November 22, 2010
thanksGIVING
Maybe it's all the Thanking that I'm doing.
Maybe it's all the people thanking me.
I can't really be sure...
Regardless the reasons, I'm going to share this universal truth with you.
Universal Truth Number Thirty Nine
Sharing gratitude helps both you and those you're thanking.
Thanking someone
A) lets them know that what they're doing hasn't gone unnoticed
B) very often, helps people to continue doing what they're doing -- knowing it's appreciated
C) makes those you're thanking feel good
D) makes YOU feel good
Thanking someone gives you an opportunity to reflect on who you are, how those people have helped you become who you are, and the person you'd like to become.
It makes you more grateful.
It honestly just feels fantastic.
So moral of this blog post -- get out and thank someone today. That is all.
Maybe it's all the people thanking me.
I can't really be sure...
Regardless the reasons, I'm going to share this universal truth with you.
Universal Truth Number Thirty Nine
Sharing gratitude helps both you and those you're thanking.
Thanking someone
A) lets them know that what they're doing hasn't gone unnoticed
B) very often, helps people to continue doing what they're doing -- knowing it's appreciated
C) makes those you're thanking feel good
D) makes YOU feel good
Thanking someone gives you an opportunity to reflect on who you are, how those people have helped you become who you are, and the person you'd like to become.
It makes you more grateful.
It honestly just feels fantastic.
So moral of this blog post -- get out and thank someone today. That is all.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Musing a Direction
I have dozens and dozens of drafted musings.
I won't post them... because they're not yet resolved. I don't know what all the answers are, I just know a lot of the questions.
April of this year I mused the Following:
I can't really be sure, but I feel there's a point in almost every person's life in which they can see their future stretching out before them. They can see what lies ahead, if they just stay on the path they're currently on.
I experienced just that, or something akin to that. A moment when I saw two options, two paths, stretching out before me. The words of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken," floated through my mind. I sat staring both paths down - they were as clear to me as if they had been actual paths beneath my feet.
I saw husbands, careers, jobs, babies. Each different. Each beautiful in their own right.
It was a moment that just asked me to choose -- to continue down the path I was on, or to step onto another. I thought desperately, "Which is the path less traveled!? Which is the right choice?"
This remained saved as a draft because I didn't have the answers. I had
Universal Truth Number Thirty Eight
We all have a purpose.
But that's all that I had. The thirty-eighth universal truth... and a whole lot of questions.
Additionally, universal truth number thirty eight reminded me that there had to be more behind my decisions than just "being happy where I'm at."
I certainly was happy. I loved the boy I was dating. I loved everything about my life.
But I know, and I knew, that there's something bigger in store for me.
There is something in this life that I can accomplish that no one else can... because no one else on this planet is quite like me.
This is true for everyone. We all have a purpose. There is something wild and wonderful each of us can do with our lives... that no one else can.
And I wanted to know for sure... was I making the right decisions for my wild and wonderful one thing? Would I find my purpose? The one thing, the one person, the one difference I could make.
I still don't know what that one thing is.
But I KNOW that I'm on the right path. That the right decisions up until now have been made... as well as the next few to follow. So I'm sharing this with you now.
I hope it helps with your search for truth and personal purpose.
May you find your one great thing.
I won't post them... because they're not yet resolved. I don't know what all the answers are, I just know a lot of the questions.
April of this year I mused the Following:
I can't really be sure, but I feel there's a point in almost every person's life in which they can see their future stretching out before them. They can see what lies ahead, if they just stay on the path they're currently on.
I experienced just that, or something akin to that. A moment when I saw two options, two paths, stretching out before me. The words of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken," floated through my mind. I sat staring both paths down - they were as clear to me as if they had been actual paths beneath my feet.
I saw husbands, careers, jobs, babies. Each different. Each beautiful in their own right.
It was a moment that just asked me to choose -- to continue down the path I was on, or to step onto another. I thought desperately, "Which is the path less traveled!? Which is the right choice?"
This remained saved as a draft because I didn't have the answers. I had
Universal Truth Number Thirty Eight
We all have a purpose.
But that's all that I had. The thirty-eighth universal truth... and a whole lot of questions.
Additionally, universal truth number thirty eight reminded me that there had to be more behind my decisions than just "being happy where I'm at."
I certainly was happy. I loved the boy I was dating. I loved everything about my life.
But I know, and I knew, that there's something bigger in store for me.
There is something in this life that I can accomplish that no one else can... because no one else on this planet is quite like me.
This is true for everyone. We all have a purpose. There is something wild and wonderful each of us can do with our lives... that no one else can.
And I wanted to know for sure... was I making the right decisions for my wild and wonderful one thing? Would I find my purpose? The one thing, the one person, the one difference I could make.
I still don't know what that one thing is.
But I KNOW that I'm on the right path. That the right decisions up until now have been made... as well as the next few to follow. So I'm sharing this with you now.
I hope it helps with your search for truth and personal purpose.
May you find your one great thing.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
A Tale of Two Truths
Here's a confession.
I love Harry Potter. A lot.
Here's another confession.
I feel like I've learned a lot from those books.
At the close of the Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Dumbledore taught Harry a universal truth.
I'm going to number it Universal Truth Thirty Six
It's our choices that determine who we are.
It's the decisions we make, big and small, on a day-to-day basis that determines who we are today; who we will be tomorrow; and who we'll have become a year from now.
That being said, another piece of children's literature taught me
Universal Truth Thirty Seven
If you don't know where you're going, it doesn't much matter which choices you make.
(The Cheshire cat taught this truth to Alice.)
Know the person you'd like to become. Know where you'd like life to take you.
It will back up the choices that you're making with direction and meaning.
If you don't have meaning backing your decisions, then just as the Cheshire cat taught us, they don't really matter.
You can become any person at all, if you don't have a preference on what type of person you'd like to become.
I love Harry Potter. A lot.
Here's another confession.
I feel like I've learned a lot from those books.
At the close of the Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Dumbledore taught Harry a universal truth.
I'm going to number it Universal Truth Thirty Six
It's our choices that determine who we are.
It's the decisions we make, big and small, on a day-to-day basis that determines who we are today; who we will be tomorrow; and who we'll have become a year from now.
That being said, another piece of children's literature taught me
Universal Truth Thirty Seven
If you don't know where you're going, it doesn't much matter which choices you make.
(The Cheshire cat taught this truth to Alice.)
Know the person you'd like to become. Know where you'd like life to take you.
It will back up the choices that you're making with direction and meaning.
If you don't have meaning backing your decisions, then just as the Cheshire cat taught us, they don't really matter.
You can become any person at all, if you don't have a preference on what type of person you'd like to become.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Learning from Trials and Errors
It's funny, at time life is everything you'd like to be... and then some.
Other times it's nothing you'd wish on even your worst enemy.
What really throws me off is when it's a mixture of both. Some moments are fantastic, fun, and everything I could want them to be... and just moments later, I'm miserable.
No, I don't have a mood disorder. I just got out of a relationship. And it sucks.
On the upside, the roller coaster that is life has taught me...
Universal Truth Number Thirty Five
Nothing in life is perfect.
Nothing in life is perfect, so stop expecting it to be.
If we're waiting for things to be perfect, and all our moments to be just what we want... then we'll never be happy.
Relish in the good moments, learn from those that are bad, and appreciate your life for what it is.
Other times it's nothing you'd wish on even your worst enemy.
What really throws me off is when it's a mixture of both. Some moments are fantastic, fun, and everything I could want them to be... and just moments later, I'm miserable.
No, I don't have a mood disorder. I just got out of a relationship. And it sucks.
On the upside, the roller coaster that is life has taught me...
Universal Truth Number Thirty Five
Nothing in life is perfect.
Nothing in life is perfect, so stop expecting it to be.
If we're waiting for things to be perfect, and all our moments to be just what we want... then we'll never be happy.
Relish in the good moments, learn from those that are bad, and appreciate your life for what it is.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
The Truth that Needs Little Explanation
Care to know how what I've been up to for the last hour and a half?
Yes?
Excellent.
I've been proving Universal Truth Number Thirty Four
There's little more addicting than Tetris.
I feel like little to no more explanation is required.
Also, I'd really like to get back to playing.
Yes?
Excellent.
I've been proving Universal Truth Number Thirty Four
There's little more addicting than Tetris.
I feel like little to no more explanation is required.
Also, I'd really like to get back to playing.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
What is Love? (baby don't hurt me)
Today I was told that love is the most overused four letter word in the English language.
I love cheese.
I love sleeping in.
I love spending time with you.
Love is more than something you enjoy doing, more than a preference.
But what is love?
Can you claim love when you've claimed it dozens of times before? Can you claim it when you cannot define it, can't explain what it means when you say it?
Can you claim it at all? Does it even exist?
I'm scared of love. Not of loving someone, but of not knowing for sure what love is. I feel I have a definite hold on it... then a family member, boy, friend will throw something into the mix that I hadn't previously considered.
If I cannot define love, does it exist? Is it more than a feeling? Is what you experience and call love different with every person you experience it with?
If so, who has decided to make love this all-encompassing, all-inclusive term.
Let me tell you what I know and believe about love, starting with:
Universal Truth Number Thirty Three
Love is treated too lightly
That's not to say that we take love too lightly when we show it for our fellow man. Just that we should recognize that it's kindness and compassion we're showing. Not love.
Love is the glue that holds you to your family, and endears your family to you, when nothing else does.
Love is the power that makes good friends, great. Because, when you love someone, you put their needs before your own.
More than that, being IN love is a combination of chemistry and electricity between two people who love each other like they love both their family and their best friends. Nothing less.
Love isn't the attraction or butterflies that describe lust.
Love isn't the connection between two teenagers who hold hands in the halls of the local high school.
Love isn't what you feel when you kiss someone, or are kissed.
Love is more than just caring about someone, or wanting to have someone in your life.
Love is more than that. And all of that.
It's running to kill the spider when she's standing on the couch.
It's moving plans around so you can spend the afternoon with him.
It's doing something inconvenient, and doing it willingly; because she has plans but still wants to road-trip with you, because he has to get packed within the hour, because this was something that she or he had always wanted.
Being in love with someone means that you would walk through hell itself, if it meant keeping that person beside you. Anyone thinking less is kidding themselves.
Love is more than just a strong regard or feeling. It's a set of feeling that are so overwhelming you worry if any one person should be allowed to feel all of this happiness, this excitement, this peace and contentment all at once.
And you worry because as much as you thought you couldn't love that person more, you wake up the next day to find yourself proven entirely wrong.
THAT is love. That's part of what it means to be in love.
I can't define it. Can't describe it any better.
But you'd better believe I can tell the world at large they're using the word too often. And that they're using it wrong.
Love means something. Unless you're willing to imply all of the above when you say, "I love you," think twice before those three words escape your lips.
I love cheese.
I love sleeping in.
I love spending time with you.
Love is more than something you enjoy doing, more than a preference.
But what is love?
Can you claim love when you've claimed it dozens of times before? Can you claim it when you cannot define it, can't explain what it means when you say it?
Can you claim it at all? Does it even exist?
I'm scared of love. Not of loving someone, but of not knowing for sure what love is. I feel I have a definite hold on it... then a family member, boy, friend will throw something into the mix that I hadn't previously considered.
If I cannot define love, does it exist? Is it more than a feeling? Is what you experience and call love different with every person you experience it with?
If so, who has decided to make love this all-encompassing, all-inclusive term.
Let me tell you what I know and believe about love, starting with:
Universal Truth Number Thirty Three
Love is treated too lightly
That's not to say that we take love too lightly when we show it for our fellow man. Just that we should recognize that it's kindness and compassion we're showing. Not love.
Love is the glue that holds you to your family, and endears your family to you, when nothing else does.
Love is the power that makes good friends, great. Because, when you love someone, you put their needs before your own.
More than that, being IN love is a combination of chemistry and electricity between two people who love each other like they love both their family and their best friends. Nothing less.
Love isn't the attraction or butterflies that describe lust.
Love isn't the connection between two teenagers who hold hands in the halls of the local high school.
Love isn't what you feel when you kiss someone, or are kissed.
Love is more than just caring about someone, or wanting to have someone in your life.
Love is more than that. And all of that.
It's running to kill the spider when she's standing on the couch.
It's moving plans around so you can spend the afternoon with him.
It's doing something inconvenient, and doing it willingly; because she has plans but still wants to road-trip with you, because he has to get packed within the hour, because this was something that she or he had always wanted.
Being in love with someone means that you would walk through hell itself, if it meant keeping that person beside you. Anyone thinking less is kidding themselves.
Love is more than just a strong regard or feeling. It's a set of feeling that are so overwhelming you worry if any one person should be allowed to feel all of this happiness, this excitement, this peace and contentment all at once.
And you worry because as much as you thought you couldn't love that person more, you wake up the next day to find yourself proven entirely wrong.
THAT is love. That's part of what it means to be in love.
I can't define it. Can't describe it any better.
But you'd better believe I can tell the world at large they're using the word too often. And that they're using it wrong.
Love means something. Unless you're willing to imply all of the above when you say, "I love you," think twice before those three words escape your lips.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Cram.
The universal truth I've discovered of late, is best summed up by a quote by Abraham Lincoln.
Universal Truth Number Thirty Two
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
I'm not certain of what I was doing a year ago today.
I am however certain of what this last year held.
Secret computer labs
Love notes and cardboard forts
Long letters to friends long gone
Pie and Pushing Daisies
The perfect hug
Meeting a guy who is, literally, straight out of my dreams
Dancing in the rain
Midnight walks in the snow
Tears shed and talking until sunrise
Learning to worry less
Lazy afternoons
Secret messages with hands clasped
Late nights and early mornings
Sharpie messages on my back and sharpie messages on his arms
Giant I-SPY's
Slumber parties and movie marathons
Halloween costumes and perfect Christmas presents
Knowing it couldn't be possible for me to be worse at mini golf, and
finding I couldn't care less
Perfect moments and new favorite movies
The beginning of something beautiful.
Any bump or snag this last year, has long been forgotten.
That's not to say that nothing bad happened. That's not to say that I didn't become a better person because of the bad.
The opposite is true. Nothing is perfect, not even what I'd describe as the perfect year.
But I can look back at the bad... and know it wasn't so bad at all. Problems were small, no matter how large I made them out to be in my mind. Issues, worries helped me to grow and become a better me.
Because, you see, Life is Beautiful.
The idea that life is beautiful is nothing new.
It's a truth you'll see throughout this blog.
I stand by this claim.
There can be nothing more beautiful than this last year. And nothing more lovely has ever happened to me.
I look forward to beautiful years to come, and to using the thirty-second universal truth; cramming as much life into those years as possible.
Universal Truth Number Thirty Two
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
I'm not certain of what I was doing a year ago today.
I am however certain of what this last year held.
Secret computer labs
Love notes and cardboard forts
Long letters to friends long gone
Pie and Pushing Daisies
The perfect hug
Meeting a guy who is, literally, straight out of my dreams
Dancing in the rain
Midnight walks in the snow
Tears shed and talking until sunrise
Learning to worry less
Lazy afternoons
Secret messages with hands clasped
Late nights and early mornings
Sharpie messages on my back and sharpie messages on his arms
Giant I-SPY's
Slumber parties and movie marathons
Halloween costumes and perfect Christmas presents
Knowing it couldn't be possible for me to be worse at mini golf, and
finding I couldn't care less
Perfect moments and new favorite movies
The beginning of something beautiful.
Any bump or snag this last year, has long been forgotten.
That's not to say that nothing bad happened. That's not to say that I didn't become a better person because of the bad.
The opposite is true. Nothing is perfect, not even what I'd describe as the perfect year.
But I can look back at the bad... and know it wasn't so bad at all. Problems were small, no matter how large I made them out to be in my mind. Issues, worries helped me to grow and become a better me.
Because, you see, Life is Beautiful.
The idea that life is beautiful is nothing new.
It's a truth you'll see throughout this blog.
I stand by this claim.
There can be nothing more beautiful than this last year. And nothing more lovely has ever happened to me.
I look forward to beautiful years to come, and to using the thirty-second universal truth; cramming as much life into those years as possible.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Sunshine. Blessed Sunshine.
It's summer.
That means it's time for
That means it's time for
Universal Truth Number Thirty One
Sunshine + Lazy Days = The Perfect Summer
I started making a list of things that I wanted to do with my lazy summer days.
Side walk chalk murals
Lemonade in the shade
Naps in the grass
Learning to longboard
Feeding the ducks at the local park
As my list began to grow, I began to laugh at myself. Only I could complicate something as wonderful and carefree as summer with a mess of planning.
So if you'll excuse me, I'm off to do some wonderful, unplanned nothing.
Talk to you in a month or two.
Sunshine + Lazy Days = The Perfect Summer
I started making a list of things that I wanted to do with my lazy summer days.
Side walk chalk murals
Lemonade in the shade
Naps in the grass
Learning to longboard
Feeding the ducks at the local park
As my list began to grow, I began to laugh at myself. Only I could complicate something as wonderful and carefree as summer with a mess of planning.
So if you'll excuse me, I'm off to do some wonderful, unplanned nothing.
Talk to you in a month or two.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Single At Thirty
There's something to be said for being single.*
For making plans, and knowing they're going to be kept -- because you're the only one you're making them for.
There's something to be said for knowing that you truly are having the most fun possible -- because you have your pick of parties, guys, and activities.
For everyone around you offering up their plans on a silver platter, and all you need do, is pick.
There's something to be said for other people having a plan -- because it sucks to be the only person with one.
There's something to be said for knowing absolutely anything is possible.
Want to marry the best looking guy on campus? Just find him.
Want to mack it with a guy from every county? Just drop what you're doing and hop in the car.
Want to be happy? Just do whatever it is that makes you so.
It's as simple as that.
There's no one to stop you. No one to stand in your way.
Universal Truth Number Thirty
Girls just want to have fun... so that's exactly what they should be having.
And for every single girl out there, who thinks her life is no fun, I'm offering you the solution.... A good smack upside the head.
Get out there and have fun. The only person stopping your own happiness is yourself.
* I can write this without hesitation because I can also write; "there's something to be said for being in a relationship."
So don't start grumbling if you ARE in a relationship and cannot believe the things I'm writing.
I'm in a committed relationship, and would not change that for anything. Not because it's a relationship -- but because I'm in a relationship with someone who makes me feel like absolutely anything is possible, makes it so I don't want to kiss a guy in every county but rather makes me want to kiss him in every county, lets me know I could marry the best looking guy on campus. (Because I'm currently dating him.)
I'm writing this because I want girls to recognize the thirtieth universal truth. That they don't need to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship, or to have fun -- they can have fun regardless and will be in a relationship when the right guy happens along or when they find him.
For making plans, and knowing they're going to be kept -- because you're the only one you're making them for.
There's something to be said for knowing that you truly are having the most fun possible -- because you have your pick of parties, guys, and activities.
For everyone around you offering up their plans on a silver platter, and all you need do, is pick.
There's something to be said for other people having a plan -- because it sucks to be the only person with one.
There's something to be said for knowing absolutely anything is possible.
Want to marry the best looking guy on campus? Just find him.
Want to mack it with a guy from every county? Just drop what you're doing and hop in the car.
Want to be happy? Just do whatever it is that makes you so.
It's as simple as that.
There's no one to stop you. No one to stand in your way.
Universal Truth Number Thirty
Girls just want to have fun... so that's exactly what they should be having.
And for every single girl out there, who thinks her life is no fun, I'm offering you the solution.... A good smack upside the head.
Get out there and have fun. The only person stopping your own happiness is yourself.
* I can write this without hesitation because I can also write; "there's something to be said for being in a relationship."
So don't start grumbling if you ARE in a relationship and cannot believe the things I'm writing.
I'm in a committed relationship, and would not change that for anything. Not because it's a relationship -- but because I'm in a relationship with someone who makes me feel like absolutely anything is possible, makes it so I don't want to kiss a guy in every county but rather makes me want to kiss him in every county, lets me know I could marry the best looking guy on campus. (Because I'm currently dating him.)
I'm writing this because I want girls to recognize the thirtieth universal truth. That they don't need to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship, or to have fun -- they can have fun regardless and will be in a relationship when the right guy happens along or when they find him.
Monday, March 8, 2010
The Truth to be Ignored
One thing you may have noticed about me --
I do a lot of thinking.
Recently it has been on who I am, not only to myself, but to other people.
I am happily an individual. I do what it is that I want to do, because I want to be who it is that I want to be -- not who other people want me to be.
This has never posed a problem for me before. People like me for me, and my world is a lovely place. But these last few weeks I've encountered
Universal Truth Number Twenty Nine
People have expectations.
Others want you to be thin, smart, beautiful, funny, entertaining. They want you to have all the answers, be present at every function, and have an opinion on every action.
I've become someone that people think they can expect certain things from. This worries me. I'm not the expected. I'll never look like your perfect ex, I'll never be the ideal role model and employee, I won't ever fit into that mold that the world wants me to fit in, and I can't ever pretend that's a problem.
I am who I am. Nothing more, and absolutely nothing less.
I hope that each of you can stand up and say that. That you won't stand by and be labeled. That you won't your friends, your coworkers, your classmates assign you a stereotype and box that you're expected to fit into.
Be your own person, care nothing for the restraints that the twenty-ninth universal truth puts on you. You are your own person. Who cares what every other person expects from you.
I do a lot of thinking.
Recently it has been on who I am, not only to myself, but to other people.
I am happily an individual. I do what it is that I want to do, because I want to be who it is that I want to be -- not who other people want me to be.
This has never posed a problem for me before. People like me for me, and my world is a lovely place. But these last few weeks I've encountered
Universal Truth Number Twenty Nine
People have expectations.
Others want you to be thin, smart, beautiful, funny, entertaining. They want you to have all the answers, be present at every function, and have an opinion on every action.
I've become someone that people think they can expect certain things from. This worries me. I'm not the expected. I'll never look like your perfect ex, I'll never be the ideal role model and employee, I won't ever fit into that mold that the world wants me to fit in, and I can't ever pretend that's a problem.
I am who I am. Nothing more, and absolutely nothing less.
I hope that each of you can stand up and say that. That you won't stand by and be labeled. That you won't your friends, your coworkers, your classmates assign you a stereotype and box that you're expected to fit into.
Be your own person, care nothing for the restraints that the twenty-ninth universal truth puts on you. You are your own person. Who cares what every other person expects from you.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Fairy Tale Ending
Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. More than being lovely, she was also very wise. you see, rather than being a damsel in distress, she was aware of who she was ...what she was capable of... and the fact that she didn't need to worry -- princesses always get their happy endings.
Despite her beauty and sagacity, she still found herself fretting. She knew that happily ever afters were possible for any princess who worked in the right direction. But she questioned...
Was she headed in the right direction?
Was she making all the right decisions?
Was she working hard enough?
These were all questions weighing heavily on her mind.
She knew what she ultimately wanted out of life, but was that enough? She was well acquainted with
Universal Truth Number Twenty Eight
Nothing is accomplished by simply waiting for things to come to pass.
The princess had so many people she loved, and so many things she adored in her life ...how to make the best of it? How to find her happy ending?
You're curious now, aren't you? How will this princess find her happy ending? What will her happy ending be? Truth be told, she doesn't know either. But she has figured out how to find her happy ending. Live life. Live it to the fullest.
The lovely princess realized that if she had her priorities in order, taking care of and chasing after everything in that order ...everything will work out for the best.
Happy ending? ...check.
Despite her beauty and sagacity, she still found herself fretting. She knew that happily ever afters were possible for any princess who worked in the right direction. But she questioned...
Was she headed in the right direction?
Was she making all the right decisions?
Was she working hard enough?
These were all questions weighing heavily on her mind.
She knew what she ultimately wanted out of life, but was that enough? She was well acquainted with
Universal Truth Number Twenty Eight
Nothing is accomplished by simply waiting for things to come to pass.
The princess had so many people she loved, and so many things she adored in her life ...how to make the best of it? How to find her happy ending?
You're curious now, aren't you? How will this princess find her happy ending? What will her happy ending be? Truth be told, she doesn't know either. But she has figured out how to find her happy ending. Live life. Live it to the fullest.
The lovely princess realized that if she had her priorities in order, taking care of and chasing after everything in that order ...everything will work out for the best.
Happy ending? ...check.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
The Dark Truth
I'm going to start this posting with
Universal Truth Twenty Seven
We are, each of us, a little broken.
Sounds too dark and morose? Either man up, princess, or stop reading.
I'm in no mood to sugar coat this truth.
Life is a bumpy ride, and at times the people around us are none too gentle. The way they treat us impacts who we are and how we will interact with others in the future.
For most people and most situations it simply means that they need to piece themselves together, repair said damage, and move on.
It's a dark and morose fact of life; we fix ourselves because we're broken, and cannot continue the way we are. We can't depend on other people to fix the damage that's been done.
My musing from this universal truth is one that continues still today. What do we do when we're broken, and can't seem to fix ourselves?
What do we do with our dysfunctions and fears?
Is the girl who's afraid of relationships supposed to cut them out of her life?
If a guy can't seem to trust, is his only option to stop trusting altogether?
When the damage done seems too deep and beyond repair, what are any of us supposed to do?
Universal Truth Twenty Seven
We are, each of us, a little broken.
Sounds too dark and morose? Either man up, princess, or stop reading.
I'm in no mood to sugar coat this truth.
Life is a bumpy ride, and at times the people around us are none too gentle. The way they treat us impacts who we are and how we will interact with others in the future.
For most people and most situations it simply means that they need to piece themselves together, repair said damage, and move on.
It's a dark and morose fact of life; we fix ourselves because we're broken, and cannot continue the way we are. We can't depend on other people to fix the damage that's been done.
My musing from this universal truth is one that continues still today. What do we do when we're broken, and can't seem to fix ourselves?
What do we do with our dysfunctions and fears?
Is the girl who's afraid of relationships supposed to cut them out of her life?
If a guy can't seem to trust, is his only option to stop trusting altogether?
When the damage done seems too deep and beyond repair, what are any of us supposed to do?
Friday, December 18, 2009
Wonderworld
Maybe it's the time of the year.
(You know -- December -- the most wonderful time of the year)Maybe it's the fact that school's out for a few weeks.
Whatever the reason, I can't help but think on how fantastic life is.
(after all, life IS beautiful)
Christmas cards
Holding hands in the snow
Dancing in the rain
Prayers
Classes never being too hard, provided you're willing to devote the time to them
Answers
Shampoo
Notes of thanks
The smell of the first boy you loved
Sweet dreams
Heartbeats
Hiccups
Eye contact with a cute stranger
Losing yourself in a good book
Finding the perfect present
Being truly surprised
Laughing until you cry
Finding yourself
Reads like a random compilation, but it was a list of all the things I was grateful for today; all the things that I could type in the space of thirty seconds that is.
It's that time of year, time for
Universal Truth Number Twenty Six
It's a Wonderful Life
Pause and reflect on the little things that have made your life beautiful today.
All the things that you've been grateful for this week, this month, this year.
For this year is almost over -- and you cannot let it pass you by, without you stopping to think on how yours is a wonderful life.
(after all, life IS beautiful)
Christmas cards
Holding hands in the snow
Dancing in the rain
Prayers
Classes never being too hard, provided you're willing to devote the time to them
Answers
Shampoo
Notes of thanks
The smell of the first boy you loved
Sweet dreams
Heartbeats
Hiccups
Eye contact with a cute stranger
Losing yourself in a good book
Finding the perfect present
Being truly surprised
Laughing until you cry
Finding yourself
Reads like a random compilation, but it was a list of all the things I was grateful for today; all the things that I could type in the space of thirty seconds that is.
It's that time of year, time for
Universal Truth Number Twenty Six
It's a Wonderful Life
Pause and reflect on the little things that have made your life beautiful today.
All the things that you've been grateful for this week, this month, this year.
For this year is almost over -- and you cannot let it pass you by, without you stopping to think on how yours is a wonderful life.
Monday, December 14, 2009
R-r-r-repeat
A few people have noticed that my last couple posts have a had a negative air about them.
Is that it? Has college life made me so jaded that even my musings have become dark?
Life changes, and that's beautiful. I wrote this two a little over two years ago.
Before I realized what changes life had in store for me, and before I realized just how beautiful life really is.
In two years time, my view of the truth has changed entirely. I once thought the world to be beautiful because, otherwise, what was the point? That we live each day to beautify who we are and to fall more in love with what we're doing.
I no longer see the world this way. Life is not some wonderland for us to skip merrily through. We cannot just choose to have lovely experiences, cannot just find the best in life.
Each of us will experience some darkness. There will be clouds overhead, and times where we have no umbrellas.
If life were beautiful in the way I described it two years ago -- I'd have summed up the rain with some cheesy analogy -- that you can share an umbrella with someone cute or find a tree.
In the world as I see it now, there is no umbrella, there are no trees. We are alone in an empty field, with nothing in sight to shield us from the rain.
Life is beautiful because we can get drenched and survive.
It's beautiful because no matter how dark and scary the storm, it cannot hurt us.
We can hurt because of the storm, we can cry because of the cold and pain that it causes us; but in the big scheme of things, it cannot touch us and that is beautiful.
We will wander home after getting drenched, where our mothers, boyfriends, sisters, friends will wrap us up in hypothetical blankets and soothe our aching, but still beating hearts.
There is nothing too dark, nothing too hard, nothing too dank and depressing for us to survive.
Push through the darkness long enough and you will emerge into the sunshine a far better, far stronger person ...with far better stories to tell at parties.
Universal Truth Number Twenty Four
Life is Beautiful. Regardless of darkness.
Is that it? Has college life made me so jaded that even my musings have become dark?
Life changes, and that's beautiful. I wrote this two a little over two years ago.
Before I realized what changes life had in store for me, and before I realized just how beautiful life really is.
In two years time, my view of the truth has changed entirely. I once thought the world to be beautiful because, otherwise, what was the point? That we live each day to beautify who we are and to fall more in love with what we're doing.
I no longer see the world this way. Life is not some wonderland for us to skip merrily through. We cannot just choose to have lovely experiences, cannot just find the best in life.
Each of us will experience some darkness. There will be clouds overhead, and times where we have no umbrellas.
If life were beautiful in the way I described it two years ago -- I'd have summed up the rain with some cheesy analogy -- that you can share an umbrella with someone cute or find a tree.
In the world as I see it now, there is no umbrella, there are no trees. We are alone in an empty field, with nothing in sight to shield us from the rain.
Life is beautiful because we can get drenched and survive.
It's beautiful because no matter how dark and scary the storm, it cannot hurt us.
We can hurt because of the storm, we can cry because of the cold and pain that it causes us; but in the big scheme of things, it cannot touch us and that is beautiful.
We will wander home after getting drenched, where our mothers, boyfriends, sisters, friends will wrap us up in hypothetical blankets and soothe our aching, but still beating hearts.
There is nothing too dark, nothing too hard, nothing too dank and depressing for us to survive.
Push through the darkness long enough and you will emerge into the sunshine a far better, far stronger person ...with far better stories to tell at parties.
Universal Truth Number Twenty Four
Life is Beautiful. Regardless of darkness.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
heart. beat. beat. beat. beat it.
It's some insane hour of the night, I'm exhausted because I've been prepping for finals... and yet here I am. Talking with you.
Why?
Well, because recently crawling into my bed at night hasn't even served as the refuge that it once did. I can't escape my worries in the unseen realms of sleep, even my dreams have been haunted by the nightmares that fill my waking hours.
Those I love most dealing with unreal stress.
Secrets I'm not allowed to tell.
Secrets others refuse to tell.
Heartbreak.
Sorrow.
and...
jaw lock.
Yeah, I'm a mess of stress and nerves in a tidy little package, tell you what.
But the sadness and stress I'm feeling right now have helped me to realize
Universal Truth Number Twenty Three
Heartbreak helps your heart grow stronger.
Perhaps this doesn't sound correct. When our hearts are broken, most of us feel that their heart has been permanently weakened, that it will never be the same again.
This is partially true. I'd agree that once a heart has been broken, it will never beat quite the same way again. The emotional scar tissue changes the way it pumps and thumps along.
But scar tissue thickens, and when dealing with your emotional heart (clearly not physical -- don't you worry, you pre-meds) scar tissue helps prevent further damage, and adds more depth.
More depth... to better love someone who truly deserves to hold your heart.
More depth for the person who will keep your heart safe.
Why?
Well, because recently crawling into my bed at night hasn't even served as the refuge that it once did. I can't escape my worries in the unseen realms of sleep, even my dreams have been haunted by the nightmares that fill my waking hours.
Those I love most dealing with unreal stress.
Secrets I'm not allowed to tell.
Secrets others refuse to tell.
Heartbreak.
Sorrow.
and...
jaw lock.
Yeah, I'm a mess of stress and nerves in a tidy little package, tell you what.
But the sadness and stress I'm feeling right now have helped me to realize
Universal Truth Number Twenty Three
Heartbreak helps your heart grow stronger.
Perhaps this doesn't sound correct. When our hearts are broken, most of us feel that their heart has been permanently weakened, that it will never be the same again.
This is partially true. I'd agree that once a heart has been broken, it will never beat quite the same way again. The emotional scar tissue changes the way it pumps and thumps along.
But scar tissue thickens, and when dealing with your emotional heart (clearly not physical -- don't you worry, you pre-meds) scar tissue helps prevent further damage, and adds more depth.
More depth... to better love someone who truly deserves to hold your heart.
More depth for the person who will keep your heart safe.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Homegirl
There's something about moving out. Something about truly living on your own and being independent. Home is no longer home.
I can't explain it, am certain my family won't understand it, and yet I can't deny it. There is nothing better than sharing my time with those I love most (ie my family) and Dorothy summed it up best when she said that there's no place like home. But like visiting a childhood haunt, you can't help but feel you've outgrown it.
Let me explain that thought very carefully.
I haven't outgrown my family or spending time with them. Instead, just as you don't properly fit into your old tree house or fictitious world of barbies, I sometimes feel I don't properly fit back into the role I last held within my family.
Whenever I go home there awaits the same role and the same expectations I left when I moved out three years ago. I'm still the eighteen-year-old who loves the same activities, conversations, and people... or at least that's what my family expects to be the case.
It doesn't matter how much I have changed. I still find myself party to
Universal Truth Twenty Two
Those you aren't around, never seem to age in your mind.
I can't begrudge others for doing something that I do myself. But I find myself wondering what I can do to change such perception. When do I bridge the gap? When do I leave behind childhood completely and enter adulthood? Am I ever to do that completely, or will I always be Daddy's little girl and a pain in my mother's side?
I can't explain it, am certain my family won't understand it, and yet I can't deny it. There is nothing better than sharing my time with those I love most (ie my family) and Dorothy summed it up best when she said that there's no place like home. But like visiting a childhood haunt, you can't help but feel you've outgrown it.
Let me explain that thought very carefully.
I haven't outgrown my family or spending time with them. Instead, just as you don't properly fit into your old tree house or fictitious world of barbies, I sometimes feel I don't properly fit back into the role I last held within my family.
Whenever I go home there awaits the same role and the same expectations I left when I moved out three years ago. I'm still the eighteen-year-old who loves the same activities, conversations, and people... or at least that's what my family expects to be the case.
It doesn't matter how much I have changed. I still find myself party to
Universal Truth Twenty Two
Those you aren't around, never seem to age in your mind.
I can't begrudge others for doing something that I do myself. But I find myself wondering what I can do to change such perception. When do I bridge the gap? When do I leave behind childhood completely and enter adulthood? Am I ever to do that completely, or will I always be Daddy's little girl and a pain in my mother's side?
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Just Perceive
My heart beat in my chest and there was a slow and automatic oxygen intake, so ultimately it was a moment not unlike every other moment I’ve ever lived through.
But it was different.A best friend cried as she asked for my help. I was the first person she came to, the first person she trusted with her secret.
"I think I'm pregnant," came the words that afternoon at lunch.
As she shared her secret, I cried too.
I was a junior in high school - but time has dulled neither the memory or the lesson learned.
It's not your obvious lesson, that premarital sex is bad or that we can overcome poor choices.
Rather, it's a lesson that I continue to learn as I watch how our choices continue to pull us down different paths.
There was a time when my goals and choices mirrored hers, as much as hers mirrored mine.
But somewhere between barbie dolls and boyfriends, that began to change.
Her small differing choices lead her to larger ones, and soon her choices defined her.
She chooses today to live as she lived in high school, not really respecting herself enough to demand the treatment she deserves.
As one of the most beautiful and genuine people I know, I still hope that she'll apply
Universal Truth Number Twenty One
Never doubt your own worth.
As soon as you start doubting whether or not you're "good enough," As soon as you start thinking that he or she is "out of your league," you are doing yourself an injustice.
Nine-tenths of who we are, is who we think we are.
The rest of the world will perceive you as you see yourself.
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