What is Love? (baby don't hurt me)

Today I was told that love is the most overused four letter word in the English language.
I love cheese.
I love sleeping in.
I love spending time with you.

Love is more than something you enjoy doing, more than a preference.
But what is love?
Can you claim love when you've claimed it dozens of times before? Can you claim it when you cannot define it, can't explain what it means when you say it?

Can you claim it at all? Does it even exist?

I'm scared of love. Not of loving someone, but of not knowing for sure what love is. I feel I have a definite hold on it... then a family member, boy, friend will throw something into the mix that I hadn't previously considered.
If I cannot define love, does it exist? Is it more than a feeling? Is what you experience and call love different with every person you experience it with?

If so, who has decided to make love this all-encompassing, all-inclusive term.
Let me tell you what I know and believe about love, starting with:

Universal Truth Number Thirty Three
Love is treated too lightly

That's not to say that we take love too lightly when we show it for our fellow man. Just that we should recognize that it's kindness and compassion we're showing. Not love.


Love is the glue that holds you to your family, and endears your family to you, when nothing else does.
Love is the power that makes good friends, great. Because, when you love someone, you put their needs before your own.

More than that, being IN love is a combination of chemistry and electricity between two people who love each other like they love both their family and their best friends. Nothing less.

Love isn't the attraction or butterflies that describe lust.
Love isn't the connection between two teenagers who hold hands in the halls of the local high school.
Love isn't what you feel when you kiss someone, or are kissed.
Love is more than just caring about someone, or wanting to have someone in your life.

Love is more than that. And all of that.

It's running to kill the spider when she's standing on the couch.
It's moving plans around so you can spend the afternoon with him.
It's doing something inconvenient, and doing it willingly; because she has plans but still wants to road-trip with you, because he has to get packed within the hour, because this was something that she or he had always wanted.

Being in love with someone means that you would walk through hell itself, if it meant keeping that person beside you. Anyone thinking less is kidding themselves.

Love is more than just a strong regard or feeling. It's a set of feeling that are so overwhelming you worry if any one person should be allowed to feel all of this happiness, this excitement, this peace and contentment all at once.
And you worry because as much as you thought you couldn't love that person more, you wake up the next day to find yourself proven entirely wrong.

THAT is love. That's part of what it means to be in love.
I can't define it. Can't describe it any better.

But you'd better believe I can tell the world at large they're using the word too often. And that they're using it wrong.
Love means something. Unless you're willing to imply all of the above when you say, "I love you," think twice before those three words escape your lips.

Cram.

The universal truth I've discovered of late, is best summed up by a quote by Abraham Lincoln.
Universal Truth Number Thirty Two
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

I'm not certain of what I was doing a year ago today.
I am however certain of what this last year held.

Secret computer labs
Love notes and cardboard forts
Long letters to friends long gone
Pie and Pushing Daisies
The perfect hug
Meeting a guy who is, literally, straight out of my dreams
Dancing in the rain
Midnight walks in the snow
Tears shed and talking until sunrise
Learning to worry less
Lazy afternoons
Secret messages with hands clasped
Late nights and early mornings
Sharpie messages on my back and sharpie messages on his arms
Giant I-SPY's
Slumber parties and movie marathons
Halloween costumes and perfect Christmas presents
Knowing it couldn't be possible for me to be worse at mini golf, and
finding I couldn't care less
Perfect moments and new favorite movies
The beginning of something beautiful.

Any bump or snag this last year, has long been forgotten.
That's not to say that nothing bad happened. That's not to say that I didn't become a better person because of the bad.
The opposite is true. Nothing is perfect, not even what I'd describe as the perfect year.
But I can look back at the bad... and know it wasn't so bad at all. Problems were small, no matter how large I made them out to be in my mind. Issues, worries helped me to grow and become a better me.
Because, you see, Life is Beautiful.

The idea that life is beautiful is nothing new.
It's a truth you'll see throughout this blog.
I stand by this claim.
There can be nothing more beautiful than this last year. And nothing more lovely has ever happened to me.
I look forward to beautiful years to come, and to using the thirty-second universal truth; cramming as much life into those years as possible.

Sunshine. Blessed Sunshine.

It's summer.

That means it's time for

Universal Truth Number Thirty One
Sunshine + Lazy Days = The Perfect Summer

I started making a list of things that I wanted to do with my lazy summer days.
Side walk chalk murals
Lemonade in the shade
Naps in the grass
Learning to longboard
Feeding the ducks at the local park

As my list began to grow, I began to laugh at myself. Only I could complicate something as wonderful and carefree as summer with a mess of planning.

So if you'll excuse me, I'm off to do some wonderful, unplanned nothing.
Talk to you in a month or two.

Single At Thirty

There's something to be said for being single.*
For making plans, and knowing they're going to be kept -- because you're the only one you're making them for.

There's something to be said for knowing that you truly are having the most fun possible -- because you have your pick of parties, guys, and activities.
For everyone around you offering up their plans on a silver platter, and all you need do, is pick.

There's something to be said for other people having a plan -- because it sucks to be the only person with one.

There's something to be said for knowing absolutely anything is possible.
Want to marry the best looking guy on campus? Just find him.
Want to mack it with a guy from every county? Just drop what you're doing and hop in the car.
Want to be happy? Just do whatever it is that makes you so.

It's as simple as that.
There's no one to stop you. No one to stand in your way.

Universal Truth Number Thirty
Girls just want to have fun... so that's exactly what they should be having.

And for every single girl out there, who thinks her life is no fun, I'm offering you the solution.... A good smack upside the head.
Get out there and have fun. The only person stopping your own happiness is yourself.

* I can write this without hesitation because I can also write; "there's something to be said for being in a relationship."
So don't start grumbling if you ARE in a relationship and cannot believe the things I'm writing.
I'm in a committed relationship, and would not change that for anything. Not because it's a relationship -- but because I'm in a relationship with someone who makes me feel like absolutely anything is possible, makes it so I don't want to kiss a guy in every county but rather makes me want to kiss him in every county, lets me know I could marry the best looking guy on campus. (Because I'm currently dating him.)
I'm writing this because I want girls to recognize the thirtieth universal truth. That they don't need to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship, or to have fun -- they can have fun regardless and will be in a relationship when the right guy happens along or when they find him.

The Truth to be Ignored

One thing you may have noticed about me --
I do a lot of thinking.
Recently it has been on who I am, not only to myself, but to other people.

I am happily an individual. I do what it is that I want to do, because I want to be who it is that I want to be -- not who other people want me to be.
This has never posed a problem for me before. People like me for me, and my world is a lovely place. But these last few weeks I've encountered
Universal Truth Number Twenty Nine
People have expectations.

Others want you to be thin, smart, beautiful, funny, entertaining. They want you to have all the answers, be present at every function, and have an opinion on every action.

I've become someone that people think they can expect certain things from. This worries me. I'm not the expected. I'll never look like your perfect ex, I'll never be the ideal role model and employee, I won't ever fit into that mold that the world wants me to fit in, and I can't ever pretend that's a problem.
I am who I am. Nothing more, and absolutely nothing less.

I hope that each of you can stand up and say that. That you won't stand by and be labeled. That you won't your friends, your coworkers, your classmates assign you a stereotype and box that you're expected to fit into.
Be your own person, care nothing for the restraints that the twenty-ninth universal truth puts on you. You are your own person. Who cares what every other person expects from you.

Fairy Tale Ending

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. More than being lovely, she was also very wise. you see, rather than being a damsel in distress, she was aware of who she was ...what she was capable of... and the fact that she didn't need to worry -- princesses always get their happy endings.

Despite her beauty and sagacity, she still found herself fretting. She knew that happily ever afters were possible for any princess who worked in the right direction. But she questioned...
Was she headed in the right direction?
Was she making all the right decisions?
Was she working hard enough?
These were all questions weighing heavily on her mind.

She knew what she ultimately wanted out of life, but was that enough? She was well acquainted with
Universal Truth Number Twenty Eight
Nothing is accomplished by simply waiting for things to come to pass.

The princess had so many people she loved, and so many things she adored in her life ...how to make the best of it? How to find her happy ending?

You're curious now, aren't you? How will this princess find her happy ending? What will her happy ending be? Truth be told, she doesn't know either. But she has figured out how to find her happy ending. Live life. Live it to the fullest.
The lovely princess realized that if she had her priorities in order, taking care of and chasing after everything in that order ...everything will work out for the best.
Happy ending? ...check.

The Dark Truth

I'm going to start this posting with
Universal Truth Twenty Seven
We are, each of us, a little broken.

Sounds too dark and morose? Either man up, princess, or stop reading.
I'm in no mood to sugar coat this truth.

Life is a bumpy ride, and at times the people around us are none too gentle. The way they treat us impacts who we are and how we will interact with others in the future.
For most people and most situations it simply means that they need to piece themselves together, repair said damage, and move on.
It's a dark and morose fact of life; we fix ourselves because we're broken, and cannot continue the way we are. We can't depend on other people to fix the damage that's been done.

My musing from this universal truth is one that continues still today. What do we do when we're broken, and can't seem to fix ourselves?
What do we do with our dysfunctions and fears?
Is the girl who's afraid of relationships supposed to cut them out of her life?
If a guy can't seem to trust, is his only option to stop trusting altogether?
When the damage done seems too deep and beyond repair, what are any of us supposed to do?