I was text messaging late last night, just chatting with a couple friends at about 12:00 at night... nothing out of the normal, except that I was unusually tired for it being so early.
One of the friends was a lovely girl who's unsure of how a guy feels about her, the other a long-time guy friend of mine.
I was discussing what she could do about her current situation, suggesting that she could throw her feelings out there.
The text I sent her read,
"Where are we exactly, we've been friends for a long time... and I never want that to change, but there's been something else there as well... I'm crazy about you. That doesn't mean things have to change, I like things as they are... but I just couldn't have it unstated any longer."
For those of you who know me at all, I'm sure you saw this one coming.
Yep. I didn't send it to the girl I was talking to, but mistakenly sent it to the boy.
I'm fairly certain his heart stopped cold out of sheer terror, what a thing to receive from a half-asleep freshman at one in the morning.
I hurriedly texted an explanation, before he could reply (Although, I'm not sure he would have- what do you even say to that!?!)
I stopped for a moment to regain my ability to intake oxygen, and to reflect on
Universal Truth Number Two
Drowsy Texting is Bad Texting
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9 comments:
that is a terrible story! i would be so embarassing! i'm so glad i'm not you!
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, it was awkward and embarrassing... both at the same time.
Probably about as embarrassing as the number of errors in your comment.
that is mean! I would rather explain away spelling errors than heartfelt confessions.
Haha true. We're pathetic to be arguing about this.
Thank goodness we're both so cool to make up for that.
That is a wonderful story! I wish the boy was me! I would have pretty much thrown a party! Oh well, I guess i wasn't meant for supermodels like yourself. With all sincerity, Snot
You are a joke snot... but that's ok, cause you make me smile.
Apparently I didn't properly learn from the original drowsy texting experience. Last night I made a far more egregious error. Far more detrimental, far more terrifying.
I was texting my boyfriend as I crawled into bed. Talking about life and the happenings, I said goodnight.
Setting an alarm on my phone, I set my phone down next to me, and entered the realm of shadows and sleep. From that sleepy place, I wrote two sentences that continue to haunt me.
"I hate you. I wish I was important to you."
I cannot explain to you why those words were written. Cannot explain why those words were sent. Because, yes, sent they were. To one of the most important people in my life.
It was puzzling, and even more puzzling to try and explain. I'm crazy about my boyfriend. He's just the sort of boy I blog about. He makes my toes curl and my smile widen. I want nothing more than to curl up next to him and never leave his side.
Why then would I write words that were so certain to hurt his feelings? I don't hate him. He's one of just a few people that, if asked, I couldn't name even one thing I hate about him.
Yet I woke up to find that I had in fact sent that text message. I woke up to find my inbox was filled with text messages from a darling, and more than nervous boyfriend. I woke up to find I was a terrible person. And I woke up to find that, again, universal truth number two held true.
My more than adorable boyfriend did nothing but apologize. As if he had done something wrong, as if he had anything to apologize for.
I did my best to repair the damage. Time will tell if my drowsy, idiotic blunder caused any permanent damage.
I cannot help but muse on the cause of the text message. Are we all bound to destroy the happiness we find? Or is it just me who is that self destructive?
And what would make me so determined to destroy my own happiness? I’ve finally found my own sliver of happiness, a perfect little window of days and weeks to spend in my nearly perfect relationship.
When all is said and done, I prefer to think that there was no subconscious masochism at work here, simply my nightmares finding their way into the land of the living.
Regardless, I felt it only fair that I share this reoccurrence of a truth I thought I’d properly learned two years ago. May this be the last time I ever encounter the second universal truth.
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